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Mina's Musings: Rosh Hashanah Day 2, 2014


Rosh Hashanah 2014 – Day Two – Vikuach

Shanah Tovah. An incredible thing took place this summer. For a short period of time Jews in Israel and Jews around the world were united as we haven’t been in a very long time. Shortly after Operation Protective Edge began, it became clear that Israelis felt that the tunnels from Gaza posed an existential threat to Israel. At that moment the Jews of the world stood as one, as we say in the prayer Shomer Yisrael as am echad and goi echad – one people, one nation. It was amazing. But it didn’t take long, really once the operation lasted more than a couple of weeks, before we Jews went back to doing what we have been doing for as long as there have been Jews – arguing, sometimes fairly viciously, with one another.

In the Torah, Joseph’s brothers threw him in a well and argued about whether or not to sell him or to kill him. Generations later, Korach, Dathan, and Abiram repeatedly argued against Moses, until God Himself intervened. Prophet after prophet berated the behavior of the Israelite and Judean kings and they argued with the people as well, sometimes landing themselves in very difficult circumstances. It seems in our DNA to argue with one another. Quite often arguments lead to anger, discord, and separation.

But it does not need to be that way. Sometimes an argument, a makhloket, can be a GOOD thing.  In Pirkei Avot [5:17] we read: “Every controversy that is for the sake of Heaven will end in enduring value.” Indeed, on this subject, back in 2005, a book was published entitled: Controversy and Dialogue in the Jewish Tradition. There we read: “Debate and dialogue with a study partner or group is the recommended approach to Torah study, and the technique most suitable for clarifying legal points. A classic passage that refers to this methodology describes the study habits of R. Johanan and Resh Lakish.”

The story is as follows: In Baba Metzia (84a) we read the story of what happened when R. Shimon ben Lakish passed away. For years he had been study partners with R. Yochanan, and so when R. Shimon ben Lakish (known as Resh Lakish) died, R. Yochanan was quite distraught. The other rabbis asked, “Who will go to comfort R. Yochanan and become his new study partner?” They decided to send R. Eleazar ben Padat, who was an excellent scholar himself. Soon the two began to study together. Every time R. Yochanan would voice his opinion, R. Eleazar ben Padat would say, “There is a baraita, a rabbinic source, that supports you.”  After a time R. Yochanan became disturbed. He turned to R. Eleazar ben Padat and asked, “Do you think that you are like my study partner Resh Lakish? Every time I would tell him my opinion on the law, he would raise 24 separate objections to what I said, to which I would then give 24 separate answers, which led both of us to a fuller understanding of the law and our opinions on them. And all you say is: “There is a baraita that supports you.” Do I not know that my opinions are well grounded? I need you to tell me where I may have overlooked something in my own understanding so you can help me learn!

What an amazing story. Today, in the world of social media, many of us “unfriend” or stop “following” people we discover have political or religious opinions different from ourselves. We refuse to turn on certain channels, read the writings of certain authors, or go to websites where our preconceived notions might be challenged. We become angry if we are told we may have overlooked something in our opinions, rather than being grateful for being challenged to think more deeply about things! In the real world too I know people who won’t speak to members of their own family because of political differences, because they pray in the wrong synagogue – or church, or because they don’t like the way they lead their lives – as if there is only ONE perfect way to live.

The fear of being told we are wrong, of having to defend our stance on Israel, Judaism, politics, etc., keeps many of us silent, even when part of our souls is aching to speak. So prevalent is this that this summer one of the most popular songs on the radio was a song entitled simply “Brave” by Sarah Bareilles. Among the lyrics are the following:

“You can be amazing,
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast,
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up,

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes the shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say,
And let the words fall out,
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you,
I just want to see you,
I just want to see you,
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody's been there,
Everybody's been stared down by the enemy,
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty,
Don't run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live,
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in,
Show me how big your brave is

And since your history of silence,
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty,
Why don’t you tell them the truth?”

The last question she asks, “Why don’t you tell them the truth?” is one she herself answers earlier in the song. We fall for the fear and hold our tongues.

Part of this fear comes from the fact that too many people have forgotten that makhloket – disagreement and vikuach – debate – can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves and the world. Instead too many people view disagreements as a way to appear superior to others, to make themselves feel better, etc. Rather than listening to the other side to discover what we can learn, we listen so that we can argue back WITHOUT learning.

But we cannot follow that path. We are supposed to be a light to the nations, not only when we stand united as one, but when we stand united in our differences! Now the rabbis knew all along how difficult their ideal version of debate was to achieve. They knew the danger that we faced every time we opened our mouths. The second we open our mouth we are in danger of saying something we shouldn’t, and we are also quite possibly too busy talking to keep listening to what the person we are talking to is saying back to us! That is why on Yom Kippur nearly half of the sins we atone for are verbal in nature.

It is such a challenge that we are reminded to both speak wisely and listen carefully, in Hagiga (3b) we are taught: “All were given from one shepherd” One God gave them, one leader uttered them…So let your ears be as funnels and cultivate an understanding heart to hear the words of those who deem a matter pure and those who deem a matter impure, those who say fit, those who say unfit.”

That is, Hagiga tells us we must be open to hearing other people’s opinions and not to commit a sin by dismissing something out of hand just because we don’t like what is being said or because we have our minds made up. Maybe we are wrong or overlooked a nuance that the other person can bring to light for us. We must be careful of how we hear, and how we speak. On this subject, Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar once wrote the following: “God, open my lips that my mouth may declare your glory.” (Psalm 51:17) “This is a little verse that is traditionally said before the major part of the prayer service: God, open up my lips that my mouth may declare your glory. [But] What if every time we went to speak, we said that phrase first? If before I answered my spouse, I asked if what I am about to say reflects my spiritual aspirations? If before I went to share a story about another person’s life, I asked whether it would reflect the holiness in the world? If before I engaged in idle conversation, I said, “God, when I speak, may it declare your glory?” If you paused before you spoke, would your conversation be different? Would it force you to elevate your thoughts towards glory?”

The rabbis of the Talmud taught us concerning the many halakhic disagreements between the school of Hillel and the school of Shammai: (Eruvin 13b) “Elu V’Elu divrei Elohim – These and these are the words of the living God. If in our conversations with others, our posts on their walls, our comments on-line, etc., we kept that in mind, how different the world would be.

Today, as we begin a new year, may each word we utter, each line we type, be words that bring glory, love, and kindness into the world.

Sat, August 2 2025 8 Av 5785